The people of Singapore
Anytime you write about the people of a country you take the chance of hurting some feeling or not understanding them. It would take many years if not a life time to write a detailed article on this subject that would be or could be dead accurate. So if I should say something out of place just consider the source and how long I have been in Singapore and give me some credit for at least trying. As I learn more or my opinion change so will this article.
So with that said and out of the way let us take a look at the people of Singapore!
The men at work
The working man in Singapore is one with high aspirations for the future. After completing their national service time they hit the job market and do all they can to clime to the top of their industry. Putting in long hours at the office is only one part of the hard working Singaporean man. Up grading of skills is a on going afford to keep up with the ever changing job requirements, so never under estimate the work habits of them.
Due to the cost of living in Singapore to ensure a safe future for one self having a good size nest egg in the bank is really important. Add to that wanted to but a flat and doing the renovations plus furniture is a costly event. If they have their eyes set on a condominium well the price is much higher requiring even more time to spent working to achieve their dream goal.
Many have started their own business which is a risky undertaking in the country. Businesses come and go all the time so starting a new one you need to have a good plan in place to make it work and have to devote all of your time to it which they do whole heartedly.
With this need to excel at work time for relationships tends to take a back seat for a while until they find them selves in a situation where they can honestly seek out a life long companion to share all they have.
The men out side of work
Having spent a lot of time in the pubs and meeting many different guys one thing is the same, they love to party when they can. Some times culture will dictate how much they party or where but in a country with strong culture believes by its people this is going to happen.
You can see people young and old out with friends having a good time, rather it is in a pub or at the local coffee shop having a few Tigers beers and everyone enjoys the good time here. Outside of work the guy have their hobbies to enjoy, car clubs they may be part of, biking and doing other activities they enjoy are a few of the way they relax.
When I first moved to Singapore I was a bit lost in the behavior of the guys I saw here. I say that because I would be out in the clubs and see groups of guys partying together with a table of ladies not far away and they would never approach them to take to start a conversation or anything. The ladies would be there looking like they wanted to have some guys talk to them and the few that would were welcome to join them, but it was a small number when you talk about the Singaporean guys. The Expats are definitely bolder then their local counter parts. So I had to ask my self why this was happening.
Ok it’s an Asian culture and things are done different here granted but come on this is 2005 not 1205, get with the program guys! Easier said then done sad to say at least here in Singapore no matter hold modern they may think that are the mind set to me is still about 200 years behind the power curve in my book. To shy, to insecure, lacks in social skills and just to intimidated by the women.
Dating while in grade school is a rarity for many of teen of the country. Parents pushing their kids to get good grade in school so time is spent on study, the lack of places to meet friends after school and just hang out together adding to that the fear of teen sex by parents so what happens the kids are guarded day and night to keep them safe from the evils of growing up to fast. Mothers baby their sons and wait on the hand and foot for most of the young adult lives. They are not required to do work around the house and if they are it is to a small degree.
So at age 16 they get out of school, if their parents have money the son goes to university if not, well then off to do Nation Service for 2 ½ years. Ok so there they are in service, living at home where mom is still doing their laundry for them and they serve their time. This is the time when they are to explore the clubs and pubs, Batam, Geylang, health Clubs and other such activities you do while hanging with the boys.
Now during the time these guys are in the service the girls are going to university or polytechnics getting there careers started. The girls have that head start in the job market and are out there sooner then the guys both socially and business wise. This could be why the guys feel insecure, I’m not sure but it could be one reason. Not having much exposure to being around girls in a social setting and dating is sure to be another reason for sure. So here there are at 20 or 21 and trying to learn the ropes of dating and meeting women. Well at this point it is like trying to win a race that start 5 minutes ago, not impossible but damn hard to do. I say that because many do overcome this obstacle and do quit well.
The need to impress the girls is another factor the guys have to deal with. When you are just starting out working what do you have? That right, nothing! So you go to a club and see this guys that are already established with good paying jobs, cars, dress nice it hard to get your foot in the door. So to save the pains of rejection they wait until times get better for them and they have sometime to offer the woman. It’s not uncommon to see an age difference of 10 or 15 years between couples here for example or to see couples getting married in the mid thirties. Now I don’t know how long this has been happening in Singapore as far as the age of marriage all I know it that it is happening now and now is what matters.
With sex being offered so easily here and in neighboring countries such as Indonesia and Thailand there is no sexual reason to have a girl friend. It is cheaper to just go get laid when you have the need then it is to have a full time girl friend and lot easier too. While paying a visit to your local whore house on regular basics is not like having a girl friend but it can become the next best thing. Walk around Geylang some night you’ll see more than the imported TWN’s workers in the area and who do you think are visiting those $150 houses?
So in a country where it is about 60% females why do the men have to sex where they have pay for it? Which I could tell you but I can’t, I’m still working on this one. You ask and Expat about getting laid and they will tell you, “No problems at all”. Ok, true the Expat is making damn good money, most are 25 to 35 and in that range for dating, plus they are not afraid to approach that table of ladies and take the chance. Expats start at a earlier age when it comes to dating. But still you don’t see many Singaporean females married to Expats so that tells you they are marrying the guys here just much later on in age.
With the expansion of the Buy-me-Drinks bar opening this gives the men of Singapore new places to visit sweet young girls and have even more fun, while not cheap these bars offer a different kind of party experience which many enjoy very much. So here is another distraction for the men away from the women of Singapore but when looking for a wife these BmD girls are surly not on the list, fun to play with but that is about all.
So the question has to be why are the men going to these kinds of pubs, if you think about the time and money spent in one of these pub with a girl just of have some fun why not go to a regular bar and talk to the local girls? Well for one the fun factor you have, no BS involved you get her a drink you have some fun and maybe more if lucky or if you pay enough. The normal bar scene is always a hit or miss deal and the completion with the others guys can be very hard to deal with if you are new to the location or bar scene. Added to that is the BmD girls don’t care what your job is, how much you make, what you drive, where you live or even what you look like, everyone is treated the same in a BmD bar and to many that is very comforting.
Do married men visit the pubs? oh yes, why will for one the chance of running into a co-worker or relative are very very low so this is a safe area to party and not get caught by some one you know or even by some one your don’t know.
If the guy likes Chinese girls he’ll go to the KTV lounges, Vietnamese girls, Joo Chiat or Geylang Road, Filipina girls, the Duxton Hill area and Thai are in The Golden Mile Mall so there is something for every guy out there. When you think about a 40 year out guy the chances of him being are slim to find him on MOS or Zouk, but a KTV or local pub oh yeah they are there in mass, go figure!
